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50 Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts
Oct 1st, 2009 by ambrose

I saw a couple of these on that cesspool of technical ignorance, myspace, a few months ago and forgot all about them until I decided to take up the Hogwarts RPG again. I found a whole  list!

50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

  1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are “covered in bees”.
  2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
  3. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not “an extra credit project for Herbology”.
  4. “I’ve heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood’s name” is not a challenge.
  5. I am not allowed to attempt to breed a liger.
  6. I will not go to class skyclad.
  7. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
  8. I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write “I told you I was hardcore”.
  9. I will stop referring to showering as “giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful”.
  10. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. “Polishing my wand” in the common room is not.
  11. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
  12. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
  13. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year’s Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
  14. I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today’s project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.
  15. Adding the name “Bueller” to Professor Binns’ roster is not funny.
  16. “Springtime for Voldemort” is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.
  17. Seamus Finnegan is not “after me Lucky Charms”.
  18. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as “bookends”.
  19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as “bookends”.
  20. The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not “Rocky Horror.”
  21. It is exceptionally tasteless to tell Professor Lupin that “Once you go Black, you never go back.”
  22. I will not call Lucius Malfoy “Jareth”.
  23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
  24. I am not to refer to the Potions classroom as “Kitchen Stadium”.
  25. I will not tell Ron and Hermione to “Get a room” whenever they start to fight.
  26. The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason.
  27. I am not a tribble Animagus.
  28. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.
  29. I do not weigh the same as a duck.
  30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
  31. Sirius Black is not #24601.(Les Miserables)
  32. I will not lick Trevor.
  33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
  34. I am not being repressed.
  35. Calling Lucius Malfoy “Luscious Mouthful” is just plain gross.
  36. I will not change the password to the prefects’ bath to “Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty”.
  37. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.
  38. I am not a Pinball Wizard.
  39. Asking “How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?” and walking away is only funny the first time.
  40. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.
  41. I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas.
  42. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.
  43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.
  44. Sir Cadogan is not one of the knights who say “NI”.
  45. I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.
  46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make “Love Potion Number Nine”.
  47. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
  48. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with “What’s new, pussycat?”
  49. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.
  50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
Hogwarts RPG: Slytherin
Jul 14th, 2009 by ambrose

Slytherin: Slytherin’s have a respect for self-sufficiency that oftentimes reaches beyond the realm of propriety or good conscience. Those cunning folks do anything to achieve their ends. Slytherins are slippery and conniving, but determined and ruthless. The Slytherin’s scarcely need introduction as well, but Draco Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle, Severus Snape, and Lord Voldemort were all Slytherin students.

Special

  • Automatically win one Social-based skill check per day.

  • You gain a +1 to intimidation skills.

Hogwarts RPG: Part Two
Jul 2nd, 2009 by ambrose

Chapter Two: Characters
Whether we be old and bald
Or young with scabby knees,
Our heads could do with filling
With some interesting stuff,
For now they’re bare and full of air,
Dead flies and bits of fluff,
In the Hogwarts RPG, the most versatile and fun to play characters are students. Almost all the characters you will play will be students and the game is oriented toward playing students. The reason for this is that growing up in a world of such amazing power offers far more choices for good or ill than participating as a professor, or auror, or ministry employee, or Stan Shunpike of the Knight Bus. As students, you are offered several choices and will be affected by several events outside your control(Tradition and the adult world, to name a few) in the creation of your character. Still you have many options to use when creating your character.
Step Zero: Conceptualize.
Each character in the Harry Potter universe has a consistent moral compass, however skewed (Such as the cases of Professor Snape, Draco Malfoy, and Even Lord Voldemort). Each character has fears, desires, anxieties, joys, and even hobbies. Fred and George Weasly valued laughter and family above school and authority, for example, and consistently chose according to this. Remember that you are taking on an important role at Hogwarts. The most important role, as a matter of fact, for if there were no students, the teachers would be elsewhere, finding other kinds of jobs or guiding other students at other schools. It is therefore important that you know your character has his own thoughts and feelings.
Some suggestions I might make to get you started are: Is your character Muggle Born or Wizard Born? Which house did his or her parents belong to? Did he or she agree with his or her parents choices? Does he or she have any favorite pastimes or hobbies? Does he or she have any relatively unusual talents? Who are his or her friends? What is his or her physical appearance like? Does he or she like animals, or have any pets? What are his or her aspirations or goals?
Be careful how you create your character’s personality, as well. It will affect what opportunities are available to him or her, what house he or she belongs to, et cetera. This is a very important step, don’t skip it!

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